Are you a host or a guest? My sister Sarah has just arrived to stay with me on holiday for a week. So far this summer, she has been a guest on three other holidays. She’s a hot ticket. And a pro.

She arrived without toothpaste, but brought me a sweater (that I really needed, as freezing), a 500 piece jigsaw and two novels for me to read. She didn’t seem to mind that she was sleeping in a sauna (the only room with no working air con) and relished the fact that dinner (at midnight) consisted of leftover couscous, figs, cheese and chocolate cake. I informed her we are off to a party tomorrow night, weather is going to be bad and that we are going to lunch at a beach club that I have no idea is nice or nasty. She’s thrilled. She’s knackered from travelling but I need her to talk to me til 2 am and so she does. I can see she’s virtually crying from tiredness, but like the great guest she is, she goes with the flow and therapy ends on my time.

Just as she is a perfect guest, I think I am a perfect host. I think it’s really imperative that people recognise which category they fit into and stay in it. I am 45 and know that I can never be a guest. Am not ashamed to admit I hate breaking my routine, I loathe other people’s kitchens (hygiene worries me – big issues there), don’t like playing by other people’s rules and am clearly a control freak.

However, I have to say, being a host is not easy if you don’t have the perfect guest. Then, being a host becomes a temporary job that you had high hopes for but now resent. Here, then, are my Top Tips for being a great host. Tomorrow, my sister will give you her Top Tips for being a great guest and we’d welcome any further tips from you!

Top tips for being a great host

1. Don’t overly schedule and resist the temptation to over-organise daily life, so that it’s actually relaxing for all concerned. Have a few ‘Plan B’s up your sleeve for rainy days or tired days.
2. Show people where everything is in the house and make them feel like it’s their home, too, while they are there. Then they can help themselves to things, but don’t resent it when they comment and say things like ‘Oh, don’t you like marmalade rather than jam?’
3. Allow for the fact that people behave differently on holiday than they do in their own environment and try not to judge. You do see people in a totally different light than in other circumstances.
4. Try to put things in the room that you know your guest will like!! Any little extras that make them feel special. Don’t overdo it as, inevitably, the really expensive body cream you put in the shower will be left behind unopened.
5. Know that you can’t tell off other peoples children – only tell off your own!! Hard to do (really hard!), but you have to sort of swallow it and leave it be! That being said, there have to be some sort of ‘house rules’, as in ‘we don’t let our kids pee in the pool, so would appreciate it if yours didn’t’ …
6. Try to really think ahead who you invite. Invite people who have the same rhythmn of life as you – if you are someone who loves lazy poolside holidays, then don’t invite someone who loves to go hiking. If you don’t match on homeground, you certainly won’t match on holiday.
7. If you want to read English papers on hols, buy more than one – otherwise everyone will be fighting over the same paper all day and you will resent your crossword being done by someone else!! If there are things like snorkels, goggles, pool toys, get them in abundance as a pool fight between tetchy children won’t be good.
8. Try to not get beady if things you have done don’t get noticed. You may have slaved for days to get everything looking lovely, but guests who have arrived may be so taken with everything else they may not notice the finer detail.
9. Either be a host wholeheartedly or don’t – if you are going to be a host, you have to do it 100% – no half measures!!
10. Realise if you’re inviting friends with kids, they have to be kids that your kids like. Otherwise, it’s really difficult. Friends are like fish, they go off after three days – try to make the stay a short one!! Always better to leave on a ‘high’ than with everyone having gone off eachother and, with kids, that can happen in a matter of hours!